Ode to Oatmeal

Stinky oatmeal farts

why are you here?

Ravaging my intestinal track

smelly, like rotten eggs or methane leaks.

You come, like clockwork

four to six hours after tasty breakfast.

Leave my body in peace, and my husband too!

He covers his nose and I laugh!

I cannot cover my shame.

Oh stinky oatmeal farts,

Why do you pester me so?

2am

Up again, it’s 2am

My head keeps going wheels spinning
Can’t shut down the thoughts go round and round like a pinwheel

Spinning, twirling, dancing in my head.

Worry sits on me, crushing me, consuming me
Until I can’t breath.

Maybe if I try I can cry
Release the river of emotion; damned forever?

Must run a way and hide from the solitude of 2am

Up again, dancing thoughts

Wondering who I am.

Finals Suck

(Posted on MySpace June 2006)

Well, I am trying to write three papers and study for three finals all at once. Instead, I am playing around on MySpace and also playing Guitar Hero. Maybe that is why I am still working on papers? I guess I am a little behind (heh, heh, heh). I can't wait for winter break.

(posted on MySpace November 2006)

Anyone who says English is easy is fooling themselves. I'd like to see anyone try to pass linguistics with an A. It is almost a graduate level course. Try to write a paper using Ideological Rhetoric on a topic from Higher Education in Oregon from 1994. Also, Try doing all this while trying to finish a 5-7 page essay for a competition for Northwest Magazine! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Oh well, at least I'm doing well in all my subjects :)

Also, how many times can Cinemax play Terminator 2: Judgement Day? Better yet, how many times can I watch it and still not be bored?

Celebrity Adoption Addiction: Help us Find a Cure

(posted on MySpace October 2007)

What the hell is up with this adoption fad? Are celebrities using their adopted children for secret research studies? Maybe, just maybe, these high profile people have realized just how stupid they are, and that they shouldn't lend anymore of their own genes into the mix (unfortunately this realization comes too late for Nichole Ritchey--or is it?). Another annoying, cynical question: why are all the kids being adopted from other countries? America must be good enough to live in if you are rich, but adopting its children? That was so yesterday.

It seems that today, adoption is less about wanting to care for a child as it is to be hip. I know there are high profile celebs that do care about the kids they bring to their families, but come on. Some of these people shouldn't be having families period.

Taco Bell: 59 Cent Babies

So, I was at Taco Bell the other night and there were about 15 kids hanging out in the front at 9pm. The problem was, most of them had babies. It was cold, and most of them didn't even have jackets on (the babies--who cares about the parents). I don't understand why anyone--and YES even teen parents--would think it is okay to leave a baby sitiing in a car seat in front of the Medford Taco Bell at nine o'clock at night in fifty degree weather while letting their cigarette smoke fly into their kids faces? Maybe these kids were mentally retarded and on a field trip to a future workplace? It is sad, but this kind of sh*t really pisses me off. Maybe forced sterilization should come into play here.

Miley Cyrus and Vanity Fair

The girl is only 15. How in the hell was her dad OK with her posing naked with a sheet draped over her? She is not a woman, she is a young girl. It doesn't matter if she is famous or not, there has to be a line drawn.
Anyone who would let their young daughter pose like this, should rethink their parenting skills. I understand that girls at this age think they are adults; I myself was that age not long ago, and I have three teenage nieces. I just don't get this acceptance of girls pretending to be women, whether they are famous or the girl next door.

I'm sick of hearing about Ashland's poor "Mascots"

As a life- long resident of the Rogue Valley, I have something to say.
God. Get over it Ashland! I am so sick of hearing about your poor mascots and the fact that you have to move them inside. Boo Fucking Hoo! You even went so far as to make a parade float for them.

The reason this makes me so angry is: Don't we have enough IMPORTANT things to worry about? Like gas prices, home forclosures, food prices and global warming...just to name a few? Do your stuffed animals and statues really matter?

Now you think that by not having these items in place, Ashland is going to "become a ghost town like in the 1970s..." WTF

Please Get Over It and start worrying about what is important.

Of Course you can get pregnant in the butt....

I just don't get it. Are kids really this stupid? No wonder we have so many teenage pregnancies. I was on yahoo answers tonight, and yet another teen posted a question about pregnancy. The question asked:

"Can I get pregnant from anal sex?"

Butt sex. Good ol' hiney hankey. Louisiana swamp water foreplay. Heading up the muddy river....ok i'll stop.

Seriously. Are you that stupid. If you have to ask that question you shouldn't be having sex in the first place. Part of me wants to feel sorry for these kids, because they haven't been taught anything by their parents. However, most of me just seethes at the thought that kids are having sex before they know the facts.

OK That is my rant for now. Maybe I will try writing something nice in the near future....